The victim’s mentality is a combination of viewing life in a negative way and in a way that makes it appear that you have no control over your circumstances. It is that constant focus on the past and what others have done to you. It is that constant belief that your emotions are controlled by some unknown force in the universe and you have no choice but to accept it. It is that “poor me” mindset that looks for continuous sensitivity for events that are now a part of the past.

The victim’s mentality is an acquired mentality, meaning it was not brought into this world with you, nor did it coincidentally fall upon you. The victim’s mentality is a deliberate way of viewing life and your circumstances that make you feel you have no control over your life, or the way you feel at this present moment.

When you lay down your choices, you victimize yourself!

-Regina Peacock

Chronic complaining is a central part of the victim’s mentality. When you view your situation as unchangeable then you behave as if...


The manifestation of self-defeating and faulty thinking is the primary cause of panic attacks, where your inner voice is telling you terrible things, further worsening your fears and anxieties. As with any phobia, panic disorder can take root and cause you to think you are going to die or something bad is going to happen to you. You might even be predicting something horrible happening in the future.

What to do!

In order to prevent yourself from completely spiraling out of control during a panic attack, you must first say “STOP” in your mind, and take 5-deep breaths from your diaphragm. This will activate your parasympathetic nervous system which will release acetylcholine (a hormone) into your body. This will quickly relax you and slow your heart rate. It will also counteract the hormones cortisol and adrenaline, which are released into your system when you enter into the panic attack.

Next, start reasoning with yourself, which means start thinking logically. Are your fears real and based in reality, or are they...


When you interpret yourself as a victim, and your life as a life that has been fraught with more trauma than victory, it is because you have allowed someone else to determine the narrative of your life. You have allowed an abuser, a perpetrator or a bully to write your storyline- the storyline of your identity!

But you have within you the power to write your own narrative, to not look at past events as things that have disabled you. You have it within you to say, “my trauma has not destroyed me”, it has made me more than what I was.

You can look at life through one of two lenses. A lens of eternity- where you see a deeper layer of existence. That despite what you have gone through, you are who you are- and that everything that happened to you was meaningful and purposeful. You are now a perfect blend of all your experiences, and you have the power to choose your destiny. Or you can look at life through a sequence of events that served no real purpose other than to make you miserable for the rest of your life.

Your happiness relies on the right perspective, and...


The implications of “words” on psychological wellbeing is one of the most overlooked concepts in mental health. Many people have adopted the famous phrase, which postulates that “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” However, an in-depth analysis of the implications of words reveals how words can extensively trigger emotions, imagination, actions, and have a profound effect on our thought process. The words that we hear can influence our perception of the world around us and how we respond to different situations in our surroundings.

Research shows that words have a profound effect on the physiology of the human brain. Positive words strengthen the frontal lobes and enhance cognitive functionality, while prolonged exposure to hostile languages can disrupt the production of neurochemicals that play a crucial role in the management of stressful conditions.

Hostile words are known to disrupt the functioning of the parts of the brain, which are responsible for the initiation of positive feelings. Negative words are also known to activate the...


If you were to look for a definition of neuroplasticity, you would see it means “the ability of the brain to form and reorganize synaptic connections, especially in response to learning or experience or following injury.” But what does this mean? In more simpler terms, it means that the brain has to ability to rewire and repair itself.

Previous research taught that “we are who we are,” and what happened to us in the past, will affect us for the rest of our lives. However, recent developments in research, now tell us that this isn’t true. Neuroplasticity shows that we are not bound to maladaptive thinking and behaviors and our brains can change its neurological arrangement through learning.

Learning is critical to changing the brains structure because it is through learning that we develop new neuropathways. Neuropathways are like trails in a forest. Multiple individuals have stepped on a specific area so much, that now there is a trail. This is likened to a neuropathway in the brain, in that, you have thought the same thing so many times (repetition), that now it has...


Anticipatory Anxiety is something that many feel but is not often talked about. It is the type of anxiety you feel prior to giving a speech or when your boss says they want to speak to you “tomorrow” and now you must wait a day to see what he/she wants. It is also the type of anxiety you feel when the doctor leaves you a message and tells you that your test results are in, but you know you cannot get those test results until you are face-to-face with the doctor. These types of events create an anticipatory feeling that can lead to unrelenting anxiety and worry if it persists.

The anticipation that one’s feels under these circumstances is called Anticipatory Anxiety. It is a condition of or type of panic disorder which involves a reaction to a future threat. Individuals are submerged in potentials about what could happen. Normally, they work through any scenario that might go wrong and become unable to concentrate on anything else. Those with anticipatory anxiety ask, “what if”, usually followed by thinking something horrible is going to happen.

Anticipatory reactions...


Anxiety is a very uncomfortable experience and can be debilitating at times. However, understanding what is happening to you is of great importance when it comes to relieving it.

Prior to experiencing an anxiety producing thought, you are in a state of inertia. This is Newton’s first law that states, “if a body is at rest and moving in a straight line, it will remain at rest or keep moving in a straight line unless it is acted upon by force.” As it relates to anxiety, this means that if you are in a calm state, you will remain in a calm state unless you experience an unpleasant thought that serves to act against you, then your state of mind will change.

Once your state of mind changes, and you start to experience anxious thoughts, the amount of attention you give to these thoughts will determine its momentum. Like a wagon gains momentum when it is rolled down a hill, so too, will your anxiety if it is not stopped. Further, the longer you persist in an anxiety producing thought, the more momentum it gains.

Once the anxiety producing thought has gained enough...